¿mató tunco tu tata?

Luis González Serrano

mi país es un nombre que han borrado de una pared

recuerdo fracturado

fragmento de cántaro de barro

alcancía de cuchito de sueños

    rota a medio llenar

 

mi país es un error de tu geografía.

preguntas comúnmente hechas a un salvadoreño:

¿está El Salvador en Brasil?

¿estuvo Julian Assange en su embajada?

¿en qué parte de EEUU queda Centroamérica?

 

mi país es un mapa descontinuado.

mi mamá y yo tomamos el café

con el fantasma de la guerra

juntos repasamos el inventario de las cosas perdidas

y desde lejos nos proponemos buscarlas

cada dia las líneas en nuestro mapa se desvanecen

detalles antes claros ahora son un borrón

repasamos direcciones y rutas

a lugares que quizás ya no existen

para no perdernos en un lugar al que no hemos ido en décadas.

 

mi país ya no sabe contra quién pelea.

la paz se ha puesto rebelde

se ha hecho tatuajes, bebe y fuma

lleva navaja por las dudas.

con ella reviso otras listas:

quiénes mas se fue después del terremoto

a cuáles amigos el país se los tragó
quiénes sobrevivieron.

 

con mi país hice un pacto

de reglas ambiguas y no escritas

un juego de mató-tunco-tu-tata

en el que siempre cierro los ojos.

 

cuando me fui, le dejé a El Salvador uno de mis pulmones

y a cambio me traje su lengua

un paladar intraducible

lleno de rimas, trabalenguas y acertijos

un amuleto que me sirve para no olvidar

 

porque mi país es un nombre que han borrado de una pared.

*

my country is a name that’s been erased from a wall

a fractured memory

a fragment of a broken clay pot

a smashed piggy bank

half-full of dreams

 

my country is a mistake in your geography.

frequently asked questions for Salvadorians:

is El Salvador in Brazil?

was Julian Assange in your embassy?

in what part of the U.S. is Central America?

 

my country is an outdated map.

my mum and I drink coffee

with the ghost of war

together we take stock of things we lost

and from afar we make plans to go back to find them

every day the lines on our map fade away a bit

details that were once clear are now smudged

we recount addresses and routes

to places that might not exist anymore

so we don’t get lost in a place we haven’t been to in decades.

 

my country doesn’t know who it’s fighting anymore.

peace has become rebellious

she has tattoos, drinks and smokes

carries a knife just in case.

with her I review other lists:

who else left after the earthquake

which of my friends was swallowed up by the country

who made it out alive.

 

my country and I made an agreement

with vague, unwritten rules

a game of chicken

            ¿mató tunco tu tata?

in which I always blink.

 

when I left I gave El Salvador one of my lungs

and in exchange I took its tongue

an untranslatable palate

full of rhymes, tongue-twisters and riddles

an amulet I wear to keep my memory alive

 

because my country is a name that’s been erased from a wall.

*

'Mato tunco tu tata' is a word game that children play in El Salvador. The rules are: one person asks 'did your dad kill a pig?' (mato tunco tu tata?), to which the other person is always expected to respond yes. The first person then asks, 'were you afraid?' (le tuviste miedo?), to which the other person is always expected to reply no. The first person then blows air in the other's eyes to see if they blink. If they blink, they lose and they are mocked because they were scared. In the author's opinion, this game says so much about Salvadorians: making fun of brutal subjects, setting themselves impossible tasks, submitting themselves to playful violence, and acknowledging the age-old Mesoamerican theme of death being a part of life. 

Luis González Serrano is a Melbourne poet born in El Salvador who came to Australia in 1988 as a refugee. In 2003 he founded, along with two mates, Salt-lick Quarterly, a well regarded poetry journal. In 2005 he published a book, Cities with Moveable Parts (NSW Poets Union Publications). He has been involved in the Melbourne poetry scene since 2002, and directly or indirectly with the Melbourne Overload Poetry Festival, of which he was Artistic Director between 2011 and 2012.